‘They can make you say anything, but can they make you ... late fifties clip on their badges and pledge their loyalty to Big Brother. One of my favourite parts of the layout was a glass lift ...

Big Brother has returned ... re going to bother with the rest. You can usually judge from the contestants' introductions whether it's going to be a must-watch or must-avoid series.

Don't voice an opinion - especially if it goes against the grain. And don't you dare speak up about the rapid decline of everything that we once enjoyed about Britain. Big Brother is watching you.

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